An Interview with Trudy: From Cocoon to Confidence

Dear Friends,

How has your week been?

These past few days, I have been exploring Taiwan with Trudy (IG: @trudylajukallo). Trudy is my older sister, best friend, and mentor. She is currently on a sabbatical year in Japan, but her journey of living abroad actually began back in 2016 when she left Indonesia to study in the UK. After achieving four A*s in her A Levels, she went on to study Biology at Imperial College London and later started working at a consulting firm in Cambridge.

Despite her many achievements, Trudy has experienced her fair share of homesickness, loneliness, and imposter syndrome, feelings that I think many people who move abroad can relate to. For this week’s letter, I had a little chat with her about her experience of moving and living overseas, the highs, the lows, and everything in between. I hope you will find this insightful!

Until next time.

Love,

Aislin

(A: Aislin; T: Trudy)

A: Let’s start from the beginning. What was Trudy like nine or ten years ago?
T: Oh gosh! I was so unsure about the future, but I knew one thing for certain: I wanted to see the world.

A: What were you expecting before you moved?
T: I imagined freedom and adventure, like the kind you see in films or read about in books. But I also knew it would come with hard work and uncertainty. I honestly did not know if I would make it, but I was excited nonetheless.

A: You mentioned “freedom”. What did that mean for you back then?
T: For me, it meant being able to go anywhere and become whoever I wanted to be, rather than who people expected me to be. Before I left, everyone assumed I would become a doctor because it was seen as the most secure career, especially since I was known as the “smart kid” at school. But deep down, I knew that was not what I wanted. I am someone who feels other people’s pain very deeply, so being around that all the time just would not have been sustainable. I also felt like I was never allowed to just be a kid, to mess around, to dance even if I was not any good at it. So moving abroad felt like stepping out of a little cocoon. I finally had space to experience all the things I had missed.

A: Once you moved in 2016, how did you find the language and studying in a completely new system?
T: Honestly, the language was the hardest part. I had learnt English since primary school but had never really spoken it. At first, I could not even form full sentences, I would just spit out words. Thankfully, my six-year-old British cousin would talk to me every day, which helped so much. I also started volunteering at events around London, and that gave me the confidence to start speaking properly. Academically, it was also a huge transition. I was two years older than most of my classmates, which made me push myself even harder. I thought I would just be repeating what I had learnt in Indonesia, but the British education system was much more advanced. So I had to learn new material from scratch.

A: Did you struggle with homesickness?
T: Oh, absolutely. The mornings were especially the hardest. Back home, I lived with my sisters, so I was used to waking up and getting ready with people around me. In the UK, for the first time, I had my own room. It was SO quiet. I tried to act tough when I talked to my family, but I would end up crying afterwards. The first three weeks were rough. But after that, something shifted, and I started calling the UK home.

A: How did you find making friends in a new environment?
T: At first, it was quite hard. In Indonesia, I never really had to make friends, as people would come to me for help with homework, so I was always surrounded by others. But in the UK, especially in a competitive school, friendships did not just happen. I had to put in effort.

Culturally, it was also very different. My classmates were used to speaking up and sharing their opinions. Back home, I had been taught to stay quiet, especially as a girl. I had to learn that if I did not speak, no one would even notice I was there. Once I started putting myself out there, things changed completely. I became really close with my classmates, and some of them are still my best friends today.

A: That’s lovely. What are some of the biggest lessons you have taken away from living abroad?
T: Moving abroad was like an awakening for me. I learnt how to make genuine connections and realised how important it is to stay active. Back then, I thought studying was the only thing that mattered, but now I understand that your mind performs best when your body is strong too.

I also learnt that you do not need to be naturally talented to try something new. You can join a sport or pick up a hobby even if you are not great at it! The point is to show up and enjoy it.

A: And finally, what advice would you give to someone who is thinking about moving abroad or has just done it?
T: First of all, go for it. You will learn so much about yourself and the world. It is not always easy, but it is so worth it. Secondly, get your admin and logistics sorted as soon as you can, as it makes the transition so much smoother. Thirdly, try to make connections before you arrive. Even knowing one or two people, like a friend of a friend or someone from your country’s student society, can make a huge difference. And lastly, use the opportunity to do things you would never have done at home, especially the ones that used to scare you!